The trouble is that doesn’t make him any less of a bad bet in fact it increases my sense that this is a guy with little moral fibre and no ability to steer his own destiny – two qualities not at all appealing in a prospective partner. I’ve no means to gauge the depth of this colleague’s feeling for you, but there’s no harm in us imagining that his infatuation is genuine. ‘Few qualities are less attractive than cowardice’ This isn’t the stuff of great love stories, but of ill-conceived dalliances, self-deceit and our deep desire to be wanted, often at any cost. Surely we can all agree that when you’re being overlooked for a pooch it’s time to get real. Regular readers will be aware of my near 19th-century reservations about letting your emotional impulses rule your head. If he’s been roped back into his former liaison via financial pressure and affection for his dog, it still doesn’t shine a favourable light on his actions. There are few qualities less attractive and this man of yours seems to be imbued with industrial quantities. Nor is emotional cowardice a symptom of anything but itself. You say he’s suffering a mental health issue, but I’m not sure indecision qualifies as an actual condition. Just look at the knots you’re tying yourself up in trying to work out an acceptable narrative for his unacceptable behaviour. We were due to be in France for Valentine’s Day and now I am stuck at home alone – we are due to go to two weddings together this spring. He refuses to give up on either of them and asked me to give him time and space. He broke down over the phone (a few days ago) and told me he now wants to end it with me, as he can’t cope with the stress. She drove a wedge between them, but his family like and accept me, even giving me small gifts.įour months into our whirlwind romance and his mental health has snapped and he’s started seeing me much less frequently. I spent Christmas with his family, who are understanding and keen for him to leave her. He has told me his girlfriend is now his ex and I whole-heartedly believe him though he still lives with her, in the spare room. Eight months after meeting him he told me he had been infatuated with me since I started, and we kissed. The dilemma I fell in love with a colleague who had a long-term girlfriend.
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